Just been thinking about the layers that make me , really .... I have obsessive behaviours , where I can only think about one think , it can be distracting. Also , today I saw some weird things today . I was in the kitchen , I turned around and I saw my little brother , it looked like he had a black ring around his head and a black shape bell looking thing on top of his head.
Don't know what to make of it. Things like this just add another layer to me and of course the other human layers I have wanting to be lighter since I see being quite short I should be light , I guess that layer is the vanity one.
Well speaking about my mother hear for a second ... I have noticed she has lost some weight. With her behaviours it can makes it hard for me to be sensible about losing the 4-5 lbs since I see my mother modelling such behaviours. It kind of makes me think in my head 'well , fuck it I know I can lose quicker if a eat xxx amount of food' .
However my rational mind kicks in and says 'well , what happens when you stop losing . you will end up binging and feeling bloated , which will make you feel more unhappy' It kind of sucks been put in this position seen my mother's actions kind of want to make me justify my own. But , I know these are excuses I make for myself to get the easy way out.
The Greatest is Love
3 years ago
1 comment:
well my day sucked, but i did go to the city and didnt freak and the marketwas way too crouded, but i didnt feel anything from others, maybe the pain im in was too much. I think your brothers glow might just be something simple like an oncomming headache or illnessim really happy that you see your mothers behavior as bad, your less likely to mimic her in the future. thats something i like about being me, im just an observer and i tend to over analize everything. So I see others do bad and know i shouldnt. Still i smoke more then my mom and dad did.
If you really want to lose those few pounds, I hear swimming is a great way, and they look awesome. so grab a bikini and swim over here and help me pack my things. just swim east until you see a big statue of some lady holding a tourch then swim north and Ill meet you in boston harbour in a few days :D
Post a Comment