Right now , I think I'm hearing my mother trying to make herself throw up. The bathroom downstairs gives off an echo. I think I have mentioned before my mother has shown to have disordered eating patterns. Especially , I know she buys laxatives since I've seen them.
Well , I'm not surprised since I'm first to admit I have disordered eating thoughts and habits. There have articles published by doctors that eating disorders can be genetic. I really don't if I should approach the subject , fuck I don't even know I should care.
In the past , while trying to eat into some normal eating pattern , I have experienced a brief episodes of bulimia However , I have found this made my face puffy and I could end up gaining the weight I had lost. Therefore , I did lots of research on what 'normal eating' was . It meant a healthy lifestyle choice not a diet but a lifestyle choice. I could ever choose to eat 'junk food' , that causes binges , then you feel you want to restrict. Or,I can choose to eat better nourishing food , which makes me feel happy.
I chose option two , so far it has worked for me. However , my mother who is now 38 years old doesn't like have a more open mind. Therefore, its really hard to try and tell her new ideas since she's stuck in her own 'way of thinking'
Well, I'm thinking of maybe consulting my father . However , my father's view on mental illnesses is pretty cynical , he does think about it and gives out advice but his tired of trying to care of my mother for all these years. I really hope I don't sound too cruel , its just I'm giving my honest view on what I'm thinking. God forgive me , if it sounds too diabolical
The Greatest is Love
3 years ago
1 comment:
diabolical? nah, while my mother and father were dying, we would sit around and drink coffee thinking of ways to kill them. I forgot moms ideas but father liked the idea of cutting his breaklines on his car because his house was on a hill with a huge tree at the base, so it would scare him, causing a heart attack so it would look alomost like natural causes. I dint mention they took part in thinking of ways to kill them right? :D
I dont think eating disorders are genetic, unless its like any compultion, like an addictive personality, if its drugs, alcohol, sex or eating, you get hooked on something, just like a workaholic never takes vacations.
Maybe try not to talk mother into not puking , try to find out why she is. Is she depressed because life sucks, or because she put on some clothes that are too small, so she thinks fat.
Maybe father doesnt pay her much attention, so she must have become fat cus he likes skinny women, so she does it for that reason.
The junk foods binges. I heard on video i had about foods , nutrition, health, that the companies add chemicals that cause hunger. Eat a healthy thing like organic salad an some fruit , then notice how you feel. Then go have the same ammount of food, say junk or a couple cheeseburgers. You will feel your belly full, yet you still want more even if the burger tasted bad, you still want more.
People say read the labels to know what you eat. Well sodium phosferate (example) is on everything, so it must be ok. Well that is salt. I cant think of what to use but point is there are so many additives and no one knows what they are.
Sorry to babble, Im avoiding go out :)
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