lucid dreams mmm.... not completely when sleeping haven't really got to that stage yet. More like the waking type lucid dream I have had at the moment. The movie 'Push' I have seen it , the story was weak however I thought it portrayed the abilites of the people more accurate and explained it aswell accurately. Didn't like the end though , I remember when I was in primary school I went to this church with my class I remember going in a feeling shivers all over and not liking the atmosphere of the place.
Also , when I got into trouble with my father he was shouting at me then suddenly this plastic clock that was hanging on the wall falls off. Then my father shouts ' you see what you did!' , thinking about it I guess I did that. I believe the key into locking anyones ability is the 'want' in wanting to do an action or wanting something really bad. Is like you want something to happen so bad that you are bending the force to work in your direction.
This revelation is something I have realized while having deep converstations with my father , but the problem in this revelation is that we are human . Humans are never in a constant state therefore when think about bending that force all that self doubt floods in. Where our brain is tell us 'don't be silly , you can't do that' , those thoughts come in stopping us from realizing 'yes , we can do that' , 'why not?'
think about these two words
'why not?'
The Greatest is Love
3 years ago
1 comment:
I get the shivers too, more often when people are near me and their moods are different, more so if thier angry an im not, which is in part why I avoid others.
I think its cute father said you made the clock fall, "why not" him causing it ,)
I tried to see pus, but that netflix thing said I can order it but not watch it streaming. I dont know about that because its on brothers account so itd go to him and as you see I dont go there often because he is in the city, tho I must go there for the doctor now. I choose a scary movie to watch, but had to load something to view it, which ofc once loaded the PC crapped out and now Im pissed.
Regarding the thoughts of self doubt, silliness an so on. long ago i didnt have those thoughts. But now I need to consitrate on not hurting others when I am angry. For the most part I havent pushed objects in a long time. Its a focuse d thought on harming or manipulatiing them. Both ufc are very bad. And with my emotional state being as it is. most times im trying to cope with overload of energy, which i think is why ive been breaking down and crying lately. Im imploding so that I dont explode and hurt anyone anymore.
I mentioned to the doctor once about this. I may be nuts for thinking I can do what i think i know I can do, but i have control enough mentally to focus on not focusing enough to hurt people. if you follow that. But what happens if i take the pills and they change my mind to the point where Im not thinking clearly and then I start pushing or hurting others? the one thing I know is i dont want to hurt them, what happens if i forget. There is something about anti depression meds, if you take them long enough then just stop, your more prone to suicidal thoughts and uncontroled rage. Do you really want to see me uncontrolably pissed off?
He understood that and I was released from the hospital without those pills. Did he see the logic, or did I just have him agree.
8 days in a box with nothing to do but think and not smoke , i learned a few things.
Sorry for the rant mam. just delete it:D
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