Hi there ,
Yesterday I had ballet , loved every second of it . Even through it was super-duper hard but loved every second of it. Well by the looks of it I will be continuing the lessons by myself , my father called out yesterday for me to get ready . So I did, I went downstairs to see if my sister was getting ready but she was sat on the couch playing on the games console and made no attempt to get ready. When it was time to go my little brother tagged along with us and my father looked at my sister and said 'you're staying alone?'
My sister said 'yeah, don't worry I got the dog for company' , I didn't say anything or confronted my sister on why she was coming . By her expression while playing the game before it was time to go was of annoyance so we went with out her.
Well, I was disappointed that she had clearly ignored that I was going ballet but she's in that mentally of thinking she's right in everything. I mean that deeply in every sense since I know people would 'but , oh kids think there right'
But , people don't us and how our brain biology is . When you see my brother and sister you think they both are two halves of my personality , my brother 'fun , affectioned , soft' But also 'lazy , insensitive , needy' While my sister is 'warm , playful , charming and intelligent' But also 'malicious , domineering , a plays mental mind games'
It's like there two parts of me , that my sister has that close mindness that I had when I was younger but have very little of these days. You're think 'why?' its not like my sister has been abused like I was but the only reason I could think of is she has been through what I went through with my mother . Where in the past my mother would talk to me as a child about her worries , her stress and damaging things that happened in her childhood.
This conversations has left a deep divide in my relationship with my mother , it wasn't until recently my father and I had found out my mother was doing the same with my sister since my sister confessed to my father that shes was deeply confused by the conversations she has with my mother.
Of course my father was enraged that my mother could be doing this again , using her children as shrinks. By telling her children her psychological problems .
I know I must sound cruel , with the way I describe my brother and sister and may even sound egotistical by saying they have two halves of my personality but my father agrees with my observations. Since with me I have these flaws but have had hard and painful lessons in learning how to correct them however , my fear for them is that they have a very different upbringing than I have had . That they won't be able to learn and develop into being something more than what designed in there genes , something I know that's my own thinking is believing in the impossible when your own mind says its not possible.
That's something I'am trying to teach my siblings , that not stay in that box that was designed for them before birth.
Yesterday I had ballet , loved every second of it . Even through it was super-duper hard but loved every second of it. Well by the looks of it I will be continuing the lessons by myself , my father called out yesterday for me to get ready . So I did, I went downstairs to see if my sister was getting ready but she was sat on the couch playing on the games console and made no attempt to get ready. When it was time to go my little brother tagged along with us and my father looked at my sister and said 'you're staying alone?'
My sister said 'yeah, don't worry I got the dog for company' , I didn't say anything or confronted my sister on why she was coming . By her expression while playing the game before it was time to go was of annoyance so we went with out her.
Well, I was disappointed that she had clearly ignored that I was going ballet but she's in that mentally of thinking she's right in everything. I mean that deeply in every sense since I know people would 'but , oh kids think there right'
But , people don't us and how our brain biology is . When you see my brother and sister you think they both are two halves of my personality , my brother 'fun , affectioned , soft' But also 'lazy , insensitive , needy' While my sister is 'warm , playful , charming and intelligent' But also 'malicious , domineering , a plays mental mind games'
It's like there two parts of me , that my sister has that close mindness that I had when I was younger but have very little of these days. You're think 'why?' its not like my sister has been abused like I was but the only reason I could think of is she has been through what I went through with my mother . Where in the past my mother would talk to me as a child about her worries , her stress and damaging things that happened in her childhood.
This conversations has left a deep divide in my relationship with my mother , it wasn't until recently my father and I had found out my mother was doing the same with my sister since my sister confessed to my father that shes was deeply confused by the conversations she has with my mother.
Of course my father was enraged that my mother could be doing this again , using her children as shrinks. By telling her children her psychological problems .
I know I must sound cruel , with the way I describe my brother and sister and may even sound egotistical by saying they have two halves of my personality but my father agrees with my observations. Since with me I have these flaws but have had hard and painful lessons in learning how to correct them however , my fear for them is that they have a very different upbringing than I have had . That they won't be able to learn and develop into being something more than what designed in there genes , something I know that's my own thinking is believing in the impossible when your own mind says its not possible.
That's something I'am trying to teach my siblings , that not stay in that box that was designed for them before birth.
'That admitting when there afraid to step outside the box is not a sign if weakness but a sign of courage.'
1 comment:
Im glad your sticking with this without the company of your sister. Hopefully your siblings will learn by your example. We all think we know everything at that age, when she grows up , she'll see how silly she is now.
Post a Comment