Reincarnations

Feeling 40% ok , today.

Its between snowing and raining here in London and its really cold that I even feel my bones hurting.

The last two days have been really shaky for me , mentally and spiritually. Right I'am remembering more past lives and hearing a different language in my head. Right now I don't which is me now, ichigo or my soul , the first person who had this soul of mine.

In remembering , I see france , I see big dresses and white wigs. Then I see russia or some place similar to russia , where there's a camp fire and people are singing dancing , drinking and being merry. Then I see england a big church , where I'm at the alter saying the lords prayer in old english.

I wonder how much my human mind can take? with all this information.

Yesterday my father said he had to go at 5pm to meet this guy from his work since he meant to go on another over night drive weekend thing but didn't go since it was my sisters birthday. I realized he would be back very late and I almost cried out for him to stay. I desperately said in a low voice I didn't want him to go. But he looked at me and tried to shrug my reaction as over reacting and said 'don't be silly , I will be back'

I realized I was closed to losing control and being hysterical. So, I said nothing and changed the conversation. I guess its that emotional attachment going on there , realizing that him going only cuts down the hours I see him even more.

To be honest I don't know whats gonna happen to me , what can an eighteen year old do , when she holds and remembers memories of her reincarnations.