Been seeing silhouettes of ghosts that radiant with energy.
Been confused, trying to find a direction here.
I wonder why parents become parents? is it the ego of what to produce something you call yours or a mini - me that will do everything you say.
If that's the case , I certainly won't become a parent anytime soon. This half term looks like its gonna be tough. Since my father hasn't got a holiday so he still working the whole day and my mother took out holidays from her work. So its like a whole week of hearing her shouting every word since that's her way of communication.
Seeing my siblings behaviour transform from being human beings to being spite full with each other and playing mental mind games with my mother , who hasn't got the parenting skills to deal with it.
I'm really at the point of not giving a shit anymore, this usually happens in my house where my parents well parent.. worry excessively about themselves and my siblings they tend to forget me. I guess I'm forget able since I spend all my time in my crypt which I call room.
However, I don't want to go down from my room , I just want them to think how I would be feeling . When they have those petty agreements which each other , just the notion of them considering how I fit in aswell will do me fine.
It just makes me feel I have gone past my sell by date with my parents , where I'm too old to need consideration about my feelings.
Well , Fuck it , I'am gonna make my own life . Even if there's not many people in it who care about my existence , I will live it. Just right now going through the emotions of feeling ok then just not ok.
Well things I have done today.
- Gone to the gym.
- Went for physiotherapy
- cleaned my room
- revised maths
- looked at some random crap in the internet.
- Did research for college work.
- remembered to have lunch at the right time
- did my college work
Right now I'am debating whether I should do something naughty :)
1 comment:
lol
i love how you ended this maam :D
two bits of advice tho depending on the naughtiness, 1) leave no witnesses and a body should be at least 9 feet down. Shallow graves = 25 to life in prison. and 2) make sure your webcam is covered up or I'll be surfing the other naughty sites :)
As for the rest, um what else did you say here?
some parents breed to have mini-meez, some for company, to feel important, while others to have servants. I had a girl because I thought the world was a good place and wanted to share it and raise her to be a good person, which turned out badly because I chose the wrong woman, who took her away.
Your siblings , if I recall are still quite young and behave as most youths do. They are testing the limits, to see how far they can go b4 mom n dad snap. Father off working and mother in her own world, they are having a blast tormenting eachother. If you can, try putting them inline, ofc, without mother catching you, i think she might be bothered that your doing her job.
Ive always thought of my room as a chamber, tomb, or cave, as it has become a coffin on wheels now, I try to be a happy spin and call it my mini mobile home :)
I should get solar panels and a cats litter box huh :D
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