work,work and more work

It's been a busy couple of days for me. It's been work , work and more work.

I can say its been a real testing time for me, my beloved being away at work constantly and the prospect of him being there 9 to 5pm. Has been frightening since this would mean I would be alone. Just having work to fill his absence, kind of feels like I'm a sailor's wife . Waiting for her husband to comeback from sea.....

Well on a brighter note , I finished grade one of bar work in ballet. Big smiles there for me since it has been my 4th lesson today. But , my father was a little temperamental driving me there since he didn't get a good nights sleep and his always grouchy when he doesn't get any sleep. He was like telling my sibling's 'I have to drive your sister to that stupid ballet lesson , or your ballet lesson's is getting in way of my job'

When I heard him say those things , I wanted to cry then . Thinking how insensitive that was for him to say that. When we was coming back he said 'why don't go by yourself next time? , stop being afraid of that old woman'

I looked at him and said ' well its not about the woman , I just like it when we go together you know !?' He realized what he said and his facial expression changed , he said ' I'm just kidding , I'm sorry I did not get a good nights sleep yesterday'

I know my father long enough to know that when his get less than 5hours sleep, he gets a little bitchy with people. His comments to me while driving me to the lesson made me nervous while trying to do the movements since I was still upset.

But when I finished the lesson , I left feeling a lot happier since I felt I accomplished something . In addition, my sister didn't come with me again since I think she catched my little brother cold but who knows? I didn't even realized she felt ill since she looked fine. But my father did commented that my sister doesn't really want to do ballet with me .

It makes me sad , that siblings like I in that age are not willing to branch themselves out. My love for ballet , was like love in first sight . When I saw Swan lake in BBC iplayer , I fell in love with the movements and the story and my past live connection with it came into play. Typing this out right now those relief that frustration of having no one vent on about my isolation and my struggles to do my college work and revising with maths.

Well to those who read my posts thanks xxx