Meditating /Ballet

Hi there ,

I know it's been some time since I posted. I have been feeling mostly tried and busy with college , well today was officially my third ballet lesson. My sister came with me this time , I can tell she's only coming since 1. she doesn't want anyone saying anything critical of her and 2. I think she's coming just for me.

Well to be honest my sister coming today , got me confused while doing the movements since the old woman was giving mysister direction but I thought she was telling me and it got me confozzled.

The lesson was hard today but fun . Even after the third lesson that spark in me to learn was still great. It pushed my brain more to think in a different perspective and learn how to move on counts.

Also three days ago I kinda of injured my right foot and my ankle is a little swollen so got to use Sunday to rest my foot. Since this week I will focusing on my work for college since I released there's only three months till my maths test and three left of this course. Da, DAAAAAAAA

I feel like the year is going quickly already , but I will my sure to try to make each day productive and full filling.

In addition , I have started mediation again since I feel I'm ready . What I'm doing is process of confronting negative emotions. The first one is self doubt .. While everyone I know is telling me I can do it , I'm telling myself it looks impossible . So confronted that emotion in my meditation . Spent the next two days as through I was being purged of the self doubt I had. Then I proceeded to confront Fear. My fear of old age , which in my mind would result in death and being old would mean it would be end of enjoying life , and also confronting my fear of gaining all the weight I lost and ballooning even more.

You could say I spent next two day being purged of all those irrational fears as well. I will say this it does not mean that feeling fear and doubt has completely gone away I will foolish in saying that but what has happened is I'm slowly being released of these fear that rules my life.

In addition , when meditating I saw the energy that is in the crown of the head which looks like a lotus flower . Well I saw mine , obviously its not a lotus flower but its kinda of shaped like one. It was gold looking and flowey. I felt like I was powered up with this energy and new sense of wisdom.

Well I'am taking this meditation slowly and hoping this will help in the up coming battles I have ...